Welcome year 2009!!!

It's a rainy start for a new year.. I'm at home, entertained by colorful fireworks outside. The view is great here (sa may terrace syempre) Have a happy year ahead. a Lot of things happened the Past year. one greatest thing about it was that, I became 18!!! haha ^_^ Cheers for me! everything was great. Hmm. . . It's already 11:45 so I guess I have to go now. . . HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

(to be continued. . . )

TWILIGHT BAWANG!

This was re-posted! haha.. ang cool kasi, namantay ako katatawa! I acknowledge the writer.. kung sino ka man... _______ mo! ASteg.. haha!!! Yun na un!

Because of TWILIGHT's phenomena..timely tlga ito..this is for all Twilighters out there..

kasi pare ganito daw yun. may isa daw babae na hot daw pare. pero maputla siya kasi hindi siya inalagaan ng nanay niya pare. tapos pare emo daw siya kasi nga daw hindi siya mahal ng mundo at para siyang patay na bata na galit sa mundo. tapos pare, lumipat daw siya ng tirahan kasi daw masyado daw siyang emo para sa luma niyang tirahan. sabi niya sa nanay niya "tangina mo nay gusto ko lumipat kay tay". tangina pare hindi nagalit nanay niya. sabi lang ng nanay niya "tangina mo pare wag ka magmura".so lumipat siya sa tatay niya di ba? pagkarating niya dun sabi niya, "tangina erpat bakit maulan dito?" sabi ng erpat niya "gago "bur" months na! malamig na tangena". so nagtaka yung babaeng simula ngayon ay tatawagin na lang nating "babaeng maputla at emo".so pumasok siya sa school di ba? binigyan siya ng truck ng tatay niya pare. sabi ng tatay niya "tangina mo sa'yo na tong truck ko". sabi niya "salamat tay".pagkarating niyang school tsong, may nakita siyang lalaking mukhang bangkay pero pogi. sakto. pogi pero mukhang bangkay. sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "hot pare".nung chem lab na ni babaeng maputla at emo, natagpuan niyang lab partner niya yung poging bangkay. so nung tinignan siya nung poging bangkay, ang asim ng mukha nito. mukhang nandiri ata kay babaeng maputla at emo.sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo". sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "tangina KA". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina NIYA oh *tumuro sa teacher nila*". sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "oo nga noh. TANGINA MO". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo gago bampira ako". tapos naghubad siya ng damit at kumintab ang katawan niya kasi linagyan niya ng glitters ang abs niya kasi tigas siya at ganun na ang mga tigas ngayon na nagpupuntang emba.so pare na in love si babaeng maputla at emo kay poging bangkay. si poging bangkay naman sige lang kasi sex din daw yun. so ayun. ang shweet shweet nila."eow poh... ahihihihi""bebe mwahugz,..... ^^,"so tapos nun nagpunta sila sa damuhan kasi.... alam mo na. tapos sabi ni poging bangkay "ikaw na buhay ko ngayon" sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "tangina mo gago patay ka na". sabi ni poging bangkay "TANGINA KA".tapos nagsex silaso basically pare yun lang yung mga importanteng nangyari sa buong storya. intense noh? kaya pala nahhook lahat ng tao. akala ko overrated. hindi pala. astig pala.
Oha oha! STirr!! hahaha....Pakamatay na ko!^_^ Emo na maputla..Asan na patay ko!?

Manny Pacquiao won over Dela Hoya!

PINOY PRIDE:
MANNY PACQUIAO DEFEATED OSCAR DELA HOYA ON THE 8th ROUND! CONGRATULATIONS!! PINOY PRIDE!

The Dream Match is over!
^_^ Manny "Pride of the Filipinos" Paquiao..
We always love you and pray for you!
Wala kang kupas!
God bless you and your family!

Para sa mga hindi nakanood ng laban niya.. here's the site
http://pacquiaovsdelahoyaupdates.blogspot.com/

I commend this site and im grateful sa blogger na gumawa niyan!
^_^ dahil sa'yo nakapanuod ako ng Live and Free! Thank you Pinoy!!!

+Proud to be Filipino!+

U-turn

It's been 2 weeks since i've lost him.. He was there with me once, then he's gone. He never even told me that he's going away. Nagulat nalang ako nawala siya. Sometimes i get a chance to see him.. be with him.. but I really don't know who he is. wala na. wala na yung dating Siya. Worse? he became a stranger. hndi ko alam kung san siya napunta. kung kusa ba siyang lumayo or may kumuha lang sa kanya?.. may nagpumilit bang ilayo siya sakin?...

We usually do things together before. Spend hours on the phone, ngayon wala na. Kada magriring ung telepono, umaasa ako na siya ung tumatawag. Na sana pagsagot ko, boses niya ung maririnig ko. pero hindi. hindi na ata niya naaalala ultimo yung telephone number ko. Before, we always go home together, I always wait for him. Kahit gano ka Late. Kahit gano kagabi. We walk together, side by side, sometimes we even hold hands, lalo pag maginaw. But now?... Wala na.
Wala nang together, meron na lang ALL together. Kasama yung buong company niya sa block nila. We're always with everyone. parang laging may party kapag uuwi kami. We never had the time to talk about each other. wala nang kamustahan. wala ng jokes. wala ng bonding. wala ng "namiss kita" wala ng "kmusta ka na?" wala nang "ok ka lang ba?". Wala na lahat.

Maybe I was just used to being with him. Masyado akong naniwala na nadyan lang siya para sakin. Na may Forever talaga, na may angel talaga, na wala naman na pala. akala ko maayos parin lahat, naniniwala akong hindi siya nawawala, na andyan parin siya, na hindi parin niya ko iniiwanan.. Pero mahirap lokohin ang sarili eh. Ndi ko nagawa, lumabas rin yung totoo. Masakit. Sobra. ang daming nawala kasama niya. "I will protect you until I die", yung "I will never let you fall", yung "hinding hindi kita iiwanan", yung "iiwananan ka ng lahat, pero ako hindi". Asan na lahat?.. Wala na. Yung lamig ng boses niya habang sinsabing "wag kang malungkot".. Naglaho kasabay ng pagpatak nung luha ko.
Mula nung araw na unti unti na siyang nawawala, walang araw na hindi ako umiyak. I always wanna be happy. I love to laugh. Pero parang nawala ko rin ata yung sarili ko, kasabay niya.

Hindi ko masabi sa kanya lahat. Natatakot ako. Natatakot akong sabihin na "pwede ka na bang bumalik? miss na miss na kasi kita eh".. Natatakot ako na sa kada titingin ako sa mga mata niya, lalo akong nangungulila.. at lalo kong hindi matanggap na wala na. Na tapos na lahat. Na kahit magunaw ung mundo, hinding hindi na siya babalik. Hindi na.

Every beautiful movie has to end. Every fireworks dispaly only last for minutes. Every bubble blown has to pop. Tulad namin. kailangan din matapos. wala na. wala nang maibabalik. dahil walang nasimulan.

One day, nagulat na lang ako, nandyan sya sa harap ko, he lifted me and hardly let me fall.. literally. He was my Lifter nung cheering. And just like every flyer, I Fell. I fell in love with him. Stupid me. Sobrang Stupid.

We became friends, bestfriends, almost lovers, but never were. Hanggang dun na lang un. BestFriend niya ko, at ganun di ako sa kanya. Nothing more. naging masaya kami. We spend everything together. Promised a lot to each other. Gave a lot. and now, I lost everything.

Wala na siya, i never thought na mula palang nun, bilang na pala ung mga araw namin. Na pagkatapos ng laro nila, tapos narin ung palabas namin. :(
Ndi ko alam kung san ako lulugar, hindi ako pwedeng humingi ng kahit ano sa kanya dahil masasaktan lang ako. Wala siyang obligasyon sakin. Kaibigan lang niya ko. Bakit nga ba hindi ko naisip na pwede niya kong iwanan kahit na anong oras. Na bawal ako magreklamo. Bwal ako pumalag. Pwede lang akong masaktan. Umiyak. Manahimik. Hanggang dun lang ang parte ko sa natapos naming palabas.

And now, here I am. Wishing na sana bumalik pa siya. Na sana maranasan ko pa ulit lahat. Na sana makita ko ulit ung mga ngiti na nabibigay namin dati sa isa't isa...

Ngayon wala na siya. May kasama na siyang iba. May nagpapangiti na sa kanyang iba. May mahal na ata siya. Na hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin kayang itanong sa kanya... "Mahal mo na ba siya?".. Dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na ayokong marinig ung sagot. At kung marinig ko man, hindi ko kakayaning tanggapin.

Eto ako, Umaasa parin.
Naghihintay.
Kahit alam kong wala na.

Minsan kada makikita ko siyang palayo, gusto ko nalang magkabit ng karatula sa harap niya na:
"DEAD END, PLEASE MAKE A U-TURN"

Maybe, Just maybe...
Makita niya na may nasagasaan siya,
na dapat balikan.

:'(

+Masakit+

Sing what you can't say..

IS THERE SOMETHING?

Lately I see clouds of sorrow in your eyes
Some deep sadness you can never quite disguise
Now I’m scared to ask what it’s leading to
But I’m more afraid of not asking you

Is there something that you want to tell me
Is there something that I ought to know
Are we something that’s still worth fighting for
Or should I simply let you go
Is there something I can do to reach you
Are we something more than history
I’ll find some way to convince you to stay
If you just tell me honestly
Is there something left of you and me

You’ve got secrets you’ve been keeping for too long
And I’m going crazy acting like there’s nothing wrong
I can taste the truth every time we kiss
And I can’t go on
At least not like this

I don’t want to lose you
But what’s the use of holding on
I don’t really have you
If the feeling’s gone

Is there something I can do to reach you
Are we something more than history
If there’s no way to convince you to stay
And be the way we used to be
Then there’s something that I want to tell you
And I want you to believe it’s true
We had something that I’ll never forget
Even if I wanted to
‘Cause part of me will always be with you…


FOREVER I'M SORRY

You said that you’d be mine, forever
I took the road with you, forever
You said that I’m the man, forever
You whisper not to worry, forever
You said that it’s better, forever
If I stay here with you, forever

The weather changes like the music fades
And the promise you made will fade away

Forever I’m sorry
Forever I’m sorry
Forever I’m sorry
Forever I’m sorry

You said that you did not lie, I’m sorry
You answered with no questions, I’m sorry
You said that dreams will come alive, I’m sorry
There’s no hope to try, I’m sorry
You said that you’re sorry, I’m sorry
If I forgive you, I’ll lie, I’m sorry

Time tells a lie as you show you lie
Collide within my soul
You took me out, you took control
Tell this love to fail as you keep me in vain
Surprised to hit my bone
You take me out, you fake me, and you clone

"RED ANG LUHA NI MICHAEL"

RED ANG LUHA NI MICHAEL
by: Jimmy Alcantara

Michael and I were meant to be together. Tumira sa iisang komunidad sa Butuan, magkaeskuwela mula prep school hanggang kolehiyo, lumaki na pareho ang barkada, nagsosyo sa bawat stick ng yosi at sa bawat piraso ng french bread, pan de sal, at pan de coco, at kung minsan sa bawat bilog, lapad, at cuatro cantos. Kaya walang nagulat nang isang mahalumigmig at makulimlim na Agosto, magkasama kaming “lumaya” sa Agusan del Norte. Limang libo, transcript of records at sense of adventure ang bulsa-bulsa namin papuntang Maynila.
Pagkatapos ng anim na taon ng iba’t ibang komedya, trahedya at melodrama, magkasama pa rin kami. Sa isang sulok ng Quezon City kami umupa ng apartment–dalawang kuwarto, three-five. Hati na naman kami sa lahat: renta, pagkain, bayad sa tubig, ilaw, telepono. Akin ang sala set, kanya ang kama; akin ang TV, kanya ang ref; akin into, kanya ‘yun. At pag naghiwalay na kami, siyempre naman, kanya-kanyang hila ng gamit.

Malabo ang relasyon namin–magkaibigan, mag-asawa, magsyota, magkakilala. Kaya siguro di kami nagpakasal at di rin kami nag-anak. Pero di kami apektado kung di man namin ma-define ang relasyon namin.

Yuppy ang gimik ni Mike. Nagtatrabaho siya sa personnel department ng isang ad agency sa Vito Cruz. Wala akong trabaho. Hindi, nawalan ako ng trabaho. Huwag na nating pag-usapan ang nangyari sa CCP. Di raw nila kailangan ang ‘nahihibang’ na production designer. Masisira daw ang mga dula at musikal nila. Gago raw ang mga kulay at konsepto ko.

Isang makulit at mainit na Lunes ng umaga, sa harap ng pinagbuhusan ko ng atensiyon at pawis na omelet at bagong pigang orange juice, nagpabuntung-hininga si Mike at, “Sa init ngayon, natutusta ang utak ko at maalala ko, kinakalawang na ang ref, pag may bisita tayo, gusto kong magtago sa aparador.”

Napangiti ako. Ito na ang pagkakataon para sorpresahin si Mike. No, di ako bibili ng bagong ref. Babaguhin ko lang ang kulay! Marumihin ang puti, vile naman ang brown. Pula! Tama, scarlet red. Magugustuhan niya.

Madrama ang pula, may landi. Minsan morbid pero kadalasan, romantic. Masisiyahan siya. Ako na rin ang magpipinta. Gagawin kong isang obra-maestra ang ref.

Sa isang tindahan sa Cubao bumili ako ng malaking lata ng Scarlet Aluminum Paint. Di ko alam kung puwede ‘yun sa ref, pero kinuha ko na rin. At isinama ko na rin ang isang brush na katamtaman ang laki para kontrolado ang pagpahid.

Kaya pagpasok ni Mike sa trabaho ng Biyernes na iyon, hinarap ko ang ref. Binakbak ko ang lumang balat nito. Binuksan ko ang lata ng pintura at hinalo ang parang dugong likido ayon sa direksiyon. At binanatan ko na.

Ang ganda ng kinalabasan. Perfect ang first coating. Bagay na bagay ang kulay. At natakpan ang dumi at iba pang lumang pinturang di natanggal sa ref.

Naaliw ako ng husto sa ginagawa ko, kaya di ko na nahintay na matuyo ang unang coating bago pahiran uli. At para makasiguro na di mababakbak ang pintura, pinahiran ko pa ng isa. At ngayon ko na-realize na dry ang itsura ng kusina, walang dating. Sinimulan kong pasadahan ang mga cupboards. Kaya lang, natuluan ang lababo, itinuloy ko na rin ang pagpinta rito. Ilang pahiran lang, bagung-bago na ang mukha ng kusina–intense.

Di na ako nakapagpigil. Nang mapuno ang sahig ng kusina ng mga pulang polka dots, napagpasiyahan kong gawing maliliit na puso ang mga ito. To relieve the monotonous squareness of the tiles, kung baga.

Tutal narumihan na ang kamay ko at bukas na ang lata, naggalugad ako sa loob ng bahay ng puwede pang mapinturahan. Dali-dali kong hinarap ang nangungupas na lampshade, ang miniature na model ng Eiffel Tower, ang frame ng isang pekeng Monet, ang mga paso at dahon ng palmera, airpot, pati na ang tsinelas ni Mike sa loob ng bahay.

Naa-addict na ako sa ginagawa ko. Pero nang makita ko ang itsura ng pinto ng bahay, di ko napaglabanan ang tukso. Kulay dilaw na brown na puti ang kulay ng pinto. Ilang pahiran lang at nawala ang ambiguity nito.

Pagkatapos ng pinto, naisip ko: “Ayoko na, tama na.” Pero di siguro magandang tingnan na isang picture frame lang ng bahay ang kulay pula, kaya pinintahan ko ang lahat. Ilang minuto ako sa ceiling fan. Ang dutsa sa kubeta at ang mga gripo, nag-improve mula sa walang kalatuy-latoy na silver.

Habang pinapasadahan ko ang gilid ng TV, nahulog ang brush sa kaliwang sapatos kong de-goma. Itinuloy ko na rin ang pagpipinta sa sapatos–sa isang paa lang. Parang si Tom Hanks sa Man with one red shoe.

Pagkatapos ng konting pahiran sa radyo, determinado na akong huminto–sa sandaling lagyan ko ng glamour ang mga throw pillows. Kaya lang, natilamsikan ang rug. I’m sure, masisiyahan kayong malaman na maganda ang pagkaka-absorb ng rug sa pintura. Di ko lang alam kung iyon ay dahil sa kalidad ng pintura o ng rug.

Pumanhik ako sa kuwarto at hinarap ang mga aparador. Binuksan ko ang isa. Pinasadahan ko ang mga bag at sinturon ni Mike at ilan sa mga attaché cases ko. Bumaba ako at lumabas sa garden at pininturahan ko ang mga praso, ang mga dahon ng san francisco at gumawa ng kauna-unahang pulang sampaguita.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagpipinta sa telepono nang may kumatok. Si Mike! Binuksan ko ang pinto. Di si Mike.
“Sulat galing sa Butuan. Sino si Mike Fernan? Galing sa isang Joan.” Inabot ko ang sulat. Maputla ang kulay ng kartero, kulang sa buhay. Pinahiran ko ang mukha niya ng konting pintura para di naman siya mukhang anemic. Di yata naintindihan ng mama ang gusto kong palabasin, at nagtakbo itong humihiyaw.

Habang pinipintahan ko ang dingding ng sala para ibagay sa bagong personalidad ng bahay, bumukas ang pinto at bumulaga si Mike.

“Ipinagpaumanhin ninyo,” sabi niya, “nagkamali ako. Akala ko’y ito ang bahay ko at ikaw ang Ricky ko.”

Hinawakan niya ang pulang doorknob at lalabas na sana nang pigilan ko siya.

“Mike, ako ang Ricky mo. Di ka ba nasorpresa, ref mo’y iba na?”

Di lang siya nasorpresa, nagulantang pa siya. Doon na raw muna siya sa kaibigan niya sa Fairview. Iiwan na raw niya sa akin ang ref niya, ang kama niya, ang ito niya, ang iyon na. Aalis na raw siya at di siguro kung babalik–pero di pa siya makaalis kasi’y basa pa ng pintura ang mga maleta niya. Di malaman ang gagawin, bumigay ang tear ducts niya.

“Totoo ngang nababaliw ka na. Sabi mo’y matino ka na. Ibabalik uli kita sa basement. Sana’y gumaling ka na. Ayoko kasing mag-isa.”

Wala akong nasabi at sa isang mahinay na unday, pinintahan ko ang mga luha niya ng pula. Naubos ang laman ng lata.

"BLUE ANG KOBREKAMA NI JAKE" (part 2 of R.A.L.N.M.)

Blue ang kobrekama ni Jake
by: Jimmy I. Alcantara

Wala nang palabas sa TV nang dumating si Michael. Lagi-lagi na lang siyang ganitong oras kung umuwi. Hindi ko naman siya maaway – siya ang padre de pamilya.

Lagi-lagi na lang siyang umaga kung umuwi. Hindi na niya napapansin na every other day ay iniiba ko ang ayos ng sala niya, ang lugar ng mini-component niya, ang bedsheets at pillowcases niya.

Gusto ko siyang awayin, pero nasa ibaba pa siya, at nagkakalampagan ang mga plato at mga kubyertos. Hindi pa siya kumakain, isip-isip ko. May nabasag na isang baso, isang plato. Binaba ko siya – hawak niya ang refrigerator. Wala akong masabi. Iyak siya nang iyak.

“Mike, kumain ka na, ipinagluto kita ng tinola.” Hindi niya ako pinansin, kumuha siya ng kutsilyo at sinubukang bakbakin ang balat ng ref. Hindi pa siya nakuntento. Humanap siya ng sandpaper at kiniskis ang pinto nito. Naawa ako sa kanya kaya kinuha ko ang kutsilyo at sandpaper. Dinala ko siya sa sala; amoy alak si Michael. Sabi niya: Bukas aayusin natin ang kulay na bahay, ayoko ng ganitong buhay.

Niyakap ko siya. Noong isang buwan bumili ako ng pintura sa Cubao. Sa gusto kong pasayahin at sorpresahin siya, pinintahan ko ng pula ang ref. Nakaka-praning ang amoy ng Scarlet Aluminum Paint kaya pati ang cupboard, lababo, lampshade, airpot hanggang sa ceiling fan at TV ay pinasadahan ko rin. Mike, hindi na uli ako bibili ng pulang pintura. Kahit ngayon na wala nang laman ang lata. Wala nang laman ang lata, Mike, naririnig mo ba?

Bago siya nahiga ay pinunasan ko siya. Habang pinapahiran ko ng pulbos ang dibdib niya ay sinabi kong nakakalungkot ang maghapong mag-isa sa bahay. Umasim ang mukha ni Mike pero hindi niya pinahalata. Hindi kami pwedeng magkaanak. Baog si Mike. At flip ako. Parusa ng Diyos sa amin. Magsi-six years na kaming live-in pero wala pa rin kaming balak na magpakasal.

Kinabukasan sa harap ng almusal ay sinabi niya, “Ampon tayo, gusto mo?”

“Gusto mo?” sabi ko.

Tumango siya. “Sige, ampon tayo.”

Hindi makakasama si Mike nang araw na kukunin ko ang bata. May project sila sa opisina at kailangang nandoon siya sa presentation nito. Ako na ang nag-drive sa kanya pagpasok niya. Dumiretso ako sa Quezon City.

Hindi kalakihan ang ampunan pero malinis at de-aircon. Kinausap ko ang namamahala. Sandali lang at ibinigay na ang bata at iniwan ko ang inaasahang iwan ko. Inilagay ko ang bata sa gilid ko. Sa bahay, inihiga ko siya sa matagal nang nakahandang kama para sa kanya. Blue ang kulay ng kobrekama.

Cute na cute ang baby – kulot ang buhok niya at ang taba – ang sarap-sarap pisilin. Maputi siya, parang si Michael. Matutuwa si Mike sa anak niya, lalake kasi tulad ng gusto niya.

Ano ang ipapangalan naming sa iyo, baby? Gusto mo ba ng Jake? Kami na ang mga magulang mo, baby. Palalakihin ka namin, pag-aaralin ka namin. Tanggapin mo, kami na ang mga magulang mo. Isipin mo mula ka sa amin. Hindi ka ampon, nagkataon lang na may dalawang tao na talagang gumawa sa iyo para sa amin. Palpak kasi kami. Oo, siyempre naman, anak, mahal ka namin.

Umiiyak na ang bata, gutom na siguro. Nagtimpla ako ng gatas at ibinigay sa kanya. Hindi man lang niya nakalahati ang bote. Gusto lang sigurong maglambing. Kinarga ko siya, inugoy-ugoy ko at huminto siya sa pag-iyak. Nakakatulog na siya nang maramdaman ko ang pagbukas ng pinto sa ibaba. Nariyan na siya nang maramdaman ko ang pagbukas ng pinto sa ibaba. Nariyan na si Mike. Dali-dali kong inilapag ang bata sa kama at lumipad pababa sa kinaroroonan ni Mike.

“Mike! Mike! Nandito na ang bata. Kamukha mo, halika, tiyak na matutuwa ka.”

Nagmamadaling pumanhik si Mike. Mabilis niyang binuksan ang pinto. Tuwang-tuwa si Mike. Sa tuwa niya, naiyak siya. Lumabas siya ng kwarto at nagkulong sa CR.

Inabot si Mike ng dalawang oras sa toilet. Na-upset siguro siya dahil ang batang iyon ang isang palatandaan ng mga pagkukulang namin bilang mag-asawa.

Pero, eto na ang bata, Mike. E ano kung hindi siya sa atin? Sa atin na siya ngayon. Anak na natin siya. Magulang na niya tayo.

Hindi kumain ng hapunan si Mike. Hindi ko rin siya namalayan nang humiga siya sa kama. Nagising ako sa pagbali-balikwas niya. Gising si Mike. At ayaw niyang magsalita.

Nararamdaman kong umiiyak na ang bata. Akmang tatayo ako nang magsalita si Mike.

“Ricky, isoli mo siya, hindi natin kailangan ng kasama.”

Hindi ko siya inintindi. Nagda-drama na naman si Mike.

“Nagugutom na ang anak mo. Heto ang unan mo. ‘Wag mo nang pasakitin ang ‘yong ulo, bukas mag-uusap tayo.”

Binuksan ko ang ilaw at lumapit sa kinaroroonan ng bata. Hinawakan ko siya. Tuyo pa rin ang lampin niya. Nagtimpla ako ng gatas at ibinigay ko ito sa kanya. Binuhat ko siya, inilagay sa dibdib ko at inugoy-ugoy.

Nakatitig si Mike, umaapoy ang mata.

“Bagay na bagay sa iyo, para kang tarantado.”

“Ano ba ang problema, Mike? Di ba sabi mo’y okay ang bata sa bahay? Ngayon, bakit ka nag-iingay?”

Galit na galit na si Mike, nagbabanta na. Ayos na raw ang mga maleta niya, at ngayon, tiyak nang aalis siya. Nagmumura na si Mike. Natatakot na ako sa kanya. Diyos ko, huwag mong sabihing nababaliw na rin si Mike, huwag mong sabihing nahawaan ko siya. Diyos ko, tama na ang isang flip sa pamilya. Tumayo si Mike, nagbabasag na ng gamit. Ibinato niya ito doon, ang iyon ditto. Hagis ng ano, pukol ng ano. Kipkip ko ang baby ko ng tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto. Baka kung ano pa ang gawin niya sa baby ko. Lumipad ako papunta sa guestroom. Humabol si Mike, pero nagging mas mabilis ako sa kanya. Ini-lock ko ang pinto. Tinawag ko ang lahat ng santong kakilala ko para pakalmahin si Mike. Itinulak niya ang pinto. Madaling bumigay ang binubukbok na pinto. Sa lakas ng pagkakasalya ni Mike ay muntik nang magiba ang dingding at haligi ng bahay.

"Surrender na ako, Mike, do whatever you want."

Bumukas ang pinto. Umaapoy pa rin ang mga mata ni Mike. Pero ano ito? Umiiyak na sa galit si Mike.

“This is it. I’ve had it, Ricky. Hindi na ito anxiety, this is insanity.”

Hindi ko siya maintindihan. Magaling na ako. There is nothing wrong with me. Si Mike ang nababaliw. Yakap-yakap ko ang baby ko. Nalilito ako. "Ano’ng nangyari sa atin, Michael?"

Kinuha ni Mike ang anak ko. "Ayoko. Huwag mo siyang gagalawin, bata pa siya, wala pa siyang alam." Ihahagis niya ang baby ko. Huwag, Mike, mamamatay ang bata. Ibinato niya ang anak ko sa sahig.

“Mike, hayop ka. Pag namatay ang baby ko, sino pa ang kasama ko dito sa bahay mo?”

“Tatawagan ko si Marvin. We’re both taking you in,” ang sabi ng walang pusong si Mike. Lumabas siya.

Pinuntahan ko ang anak ko. Gasgas ang mukha. Dumilat ka, baby. Sabihin mong mahal mo ang daddy. Niyakap ko siya. Dumilat ka, baby, say how much you love your daddy. Hinimas ko ang likod niya – labas ang buto. Hindi, may kung anong lumawit lang.

Nangiti ako. Ibinalik ko ang mga baterya sa dating ayos.

"PINOY PRIDE"

Pinoy pride nga bang matatwag?! haha.. sabi eh..
List daw to ng mga pagkakakilanlan ng Pinoy, Here and Abroad..
Astig to! ^_^ These are Pride and Flaws of Pinoys.. na naging pagkakakilanlan nga naman... haha.. maybe at the end you might say
"OO NGA NOH?!" haha


Ways To Know You Are A Filipino
1. You point with your lips
2. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
4. You smile for no reason.
5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
8. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" while you bow when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
9. You like everything imported or "state-side."
10. You Check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
11. You always offer food to all your visitors.
12. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
13. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
14. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
15. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
16. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger"(pronounced ham-boor-jer)
17. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
18. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
19. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
20. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
21. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
22. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
23. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
24. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."
25. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
26. You own a Karaoke System.
27. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
28. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar.
schwing...)
29. You refer to your VCR as a "betamax
30. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room
31. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
32. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
33. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
34. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
35. This you 'll agree 100% ... Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.




"oo nga noh?! haha!"
GUILTY!!!

"MY STAND ABOUT EMO MISCONCEPTIONS"

This was my Elocution piece, I actually wrote it myself. It was a free speech and I can do anything I want in front of everyone.. haha!!!

Here it goes:

Hey, what are you looking at? You’re thinking of something, I know. You’re laughing at me right? Why? Is it the way I dress? The way I act? I know that something In the back of your mind says “she’s emo”… Wait…

What is an emo? How do we define it? How do we look at it?

I’ve asked several people on how they define emo, or what they think about emo, some answered me “Oh Emo, they wear thick eye liners and it looks like they haven’t slept for days”, another one goes like “They cut. They love blood,” and someone even said “Emo? It’s the loud music people listen to, they’re scary”

But is this what an emo really is?

Now let me make things clear, Emo is a way of life.

This is how people deal with their emotions. Some people resort to denial, some resort to diversion, but when you chose to face your emotions and accept what life has given you? You’re emo.

Emo is a way of life, it’s never in fashion. I can wear this (my outfit) and not be emo, I can have this (headphones) and not be emo, I can put eye liner and not be emo, I can have bangs all over my face and not be emo. No one is an emo because of what he wears; you can’t be emo by the way you look.

Emo is not music. Some people would refuse, but I insist. It could be in the music, but this music is only the medium of cultivating their emotions. I can listen to Screaming and loud music and not be emo.

Be it, not wear it.
Feel it, not listen to it.

That’s emo, not a fashion, not the music.

Emo is a way of life. People say it’s stupid, but it’s not. It occurs because of the absence of governing thought but it doesn’t mean that common sense is also absent. Emo is not in suicidal attempts. It is never cool. Never fake it for sympathy or attention. Hurting yourself won’t make you emo.

Emo is a way of life. It is not something to be proud of. And Please, Emo pride doesn’t exist. Emo tend to shy away from everyone else, isolate and have time coping with emotions. Emo never aim to stand out, to publicly display it, to flaunt it. That’s not emo. Emo is something to be ashamed of, something to hide.

Emo is a way of life. It is within all of us. We all have the propensity to be emo, it’s because all of us have emotions, all of us feel sadness, anger, discontent, depression, and most of all we feel love. The only difference is how people show it, but if you really are an emo, actually, you don’t show it, and most probably, you won’t

Now, do you still think I’m emo? Better think.

"My own Book Review of THE ALCHEMIST by Paulo Coelho"

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”
-Melchizedek

Have you experienced holding on to a dream, a dream that serves as your passageway to achieving your Personal Legend?

Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist focused on the concatenation of a boy’s journey in life that began as an unfinished dream which led shepherd Santiago, the boy, to his own Personal Legend. However in the first part of the story, it somehow did not correlate with the novel’s title. For it was only focused on the boys travel together with his flock of sheep. But then on the latter part of the novel, the essence of the title was revealed, for it introduced an important character in the novel who is the Alchemist.

Aside from the title the author also used several instruments to abdicate the boy’s personal legend. And the most important instrument that he used is the boy’s dream. The boy’s dream inside an abandoned church where there was an enormous sycamore that grew where the sacristy was. The boy’s revelation of his dream to the interpreter goes like this: “I had the same dream twice; I was in the field with my sheep, when a child appeared and began to play with the animals. I don’t like people to do that, because the sheep are afraid of strangers. But children always seem to be able to play without frightening them. The child continued to play with my sheep for quite a while and suddenly the child took my both hands and transported me to the Egyptian pyramids. Then the child said to me, ‘if you come here you will find a treasure’ and just as she was about to show me the exact location I woke up both times.” Well this is a hint of what the boy’s Legend is all about.

One of the fundamentals of a good novel is its setting. The author’s variety of settings are not so particular to the readers especially when they are not familiar with the cities in other countries such as: Andalusia, Tarifa, Al-Fayoum and Tangier, but there are a number of hints written by the author such as the languages used in those places and the ideas of how these places looked like. In Andalusia Spanish was the language used and Tarifa is only four days of travel from Andalusia which means it was just near by. These two places were found in Spain. While Tangier was described as a commercial place there are some narrow streets where you can pass by and there’s a plaza where the market was held. While Sahara is a very wide desert and a way to Egypt and Al-Fayoum was an oasis with fifty thousand palm trees and three thousand wells, These four places were found in North Africa where they speak Arabic.

In the story somehow the life of Santiago seemed to be synonymous with the Alchemist’s but in a diverse way. Santiago’s personal legend is to execute his dream, a dream that would lead him to his treasure and the Alchemist’s legend was to make gold out of metals, and of course a part of it is to help Santiago to finish his own personal legend.

The author’s abundance of characters encompassed interesting twists to the story. These characters are a part of the boy’s universe that conspired to help him achieve his Legend. The characters are consecutively introduced in the novel. First one is a girl, a typical girl in Andalusia, who is the daughter of a merchant to whom the boy sold his wool. This girl became out of the ordinary to Santiago, for he liked the girl and he kept on thinking about her during his travel. But then a question was asked by the girl. “Well if you know how to read, why are you just a shepherd?” And the author answered it by the disclosure of the boy’s background. It proves that their family was not that abundant. They lived in a farm and Santiago entered a seminary when he was sixteen there he learned Spanish, Latin and theology. His parents wanted him to become a priest but he told them that he wanted to travel, and to see the castles in different towns. But only the ones who are plentiful can travel and those who were like them can travel only if they were shepherds. That point proves that the boy really is unswerving to pursue what he wanted. He then became a shepherd. His unfinished dream somehow doesn’t make sense so during his travel he went to a gypsy lady in Tarifa who interprets dreams. And as he finished telling his dream, the boy was asked to promise to give the lady one tenth of his treasure. And so
she said that the dream was In the language of the world and Santiago needs to go the Pyramids of Egypt.

Furthermore another instrument and also a character had taken its place in the journey of the boy. He was Melchizedek, the king of Salem, whose words and senses are beyond what normal people have. He knew all about Santiago, not only Santiago but also other people who have their Personal legends. In this part the author’s points of view were abdicated. His ideas about The soul of the world which can be felt by the entire universe, The language of the world in which the universe were able to understand each other by this language, The mysterious force which seems to be a negative force but serves otherwise, The Principle of Favorability or the Beginner’s luck, and of course The omens, which foretell the future whether it is good or bad. Other instruments are the Urim and Thummim, which are black and white stones. Black signifies ‘yes’ and white signifies ‘no’ they will help Santiago to decide during his journey. These things served as the boy’s weapons or armaments in making his Personal Legend into reality. In return to these things the boy also has to give one tenth of his flock to the king.

Although this novel has a slow movement of the plot, there is still a very smooth flow of the story which anticipates the readers more and more as they go over the readings. And gives insinuation to what will happen next and a hint in the story sequence. At first he interpreted his dream, next is he met Melchizedek and helped him to understand what his personal legend is, and of course next is for him to go where his treasure is.

Moreover the novel presented several conflicts, conflicts of man against man, man against his environment and man against himself. It all happened when Santiago reached North Africa. The first conflict happened in Tarifa. He met a thief who embittered him and took all his money and the only ones left are the Urim and Thummim. But despite of this great loss, the boy remains determined to finish his Legend. He met a crystal merchant who had been selling crystals for thirty years and there the boy worked to help him and he became a good omen to the crystal merchant because after numerous years of selling crystal glasses, that was the only time he had so many costumers and the crystal shop even became more abundant when they decided to sell tea in crystal glasses. The author also revealed the merchant’s Personal Legend but he doesn’t want to make it into reality, his dream of going to Mecca. He learned the word “maktub” from the crystal merchant which means that every thing was written. And the destiny of every person was already planned and written by only one hand. After almost a year of working for the merchant the boy must continue his Journey. The second conflict was when Santiago is on his way to the Pyramids of Egypt. There was a Tribal war in the desert and they have to settle in a nearby oasis. As they travel he knew a lot about the language of the world. The author used lifeless instruments to describe this such as the sand and the wind. During his travel to the pyramids Santiago met an Englishman who is very eager to meet an Alchemist. An alchemist is the one who turns metal into gold, but before they can do that they first have to study the language of the world, the own legend of the copper, and of course the lead, before he can perform alchemy. As they travel they were able to reach their target place which is the oasis. There in the oasis called Al-Fayoum there are a multitude number of citizens, males and females, young and old. As they search for the alchemist, there’s one lady who caught Santiago’s heart. Her name was Fatima. Another twist of the author’s mind had taken its place. Santiago fell deeply in love with Fatima, but what would we expect? We all know that Santiago has to fulfill his Personal Legend and time would come he has to leave Fatima. But Fatima said “Maktub, if I am really a part of your dream, you’ll come back one day”. And so his journey continued. The last conflict happened here. When Santiago had a vision of the omen given by the hawks that had been attacking each other, he saw that the army with their swords is going to the oasis. And so he told the chieftains about this and for once his life was put into danger. If the army will not go there in the oasis his life would be taken from him. That same night as he wanders around a horseman approached him and pointed a sword onto his forehead and asked him “who read the meaning of the flight of the hawks?” And he valiantly answered the man that reminded him of Saint Santiago Matamoros who is also riding a horse “It is I who dared so because many lives will be saved because I’ve read the soul of the world”. Then the horseman left him and asked Santiago to go and see him the next day if the army comes and Santiago would still be alive then he pointed to the south… Santiago met the Alchemist.

The author’s creativity gave a very relevant incident in his novel. He used the Alchemist to test the boy’s bravery and consistency in his words. But then the boy’s heart is very strong and ready to face any danger because of his trust to the soul of the world.
After that incident Santiago has to fulfill his journey and so together with the Alchemist they went across the dessert despite the fact that there is a danger of the tribal war. The two of the riding a horse across the desert had a synonymous journey in life. They shared a lot in common. They both understand the Language and the soul of the world and they were able to learn a thing from each another. But the danger of the desert does not let anyone to interfere without suffering. They were caught by a tribe and thought they were spies and were sentenced to be killed, immediately the foible inside Santiago arouse, But then through the Language and the soul of the world, with the help of the sand, of the wind, of the sun and of the hand that wrote it all, the two were saved.

Undeniably Paulo Coelho’s formality in writing a novel is indeed a big part in the interest of the readers. His ideas and choices of words to be used are certainly wide however it can be understood easily because of his story content. And his words correlate with the readers’ minds and can be able to reach an individual’s imagination. If you were to read the novel, as you go closer to the climax you would feel so petrified with how the character would find his treasure without knowing where it would be but then the author’s privilege of showing us how it happened was very artistic.

However after Santiago and the Alchemist were able to surpass the tribe war they came upon a seminary where the alchemist performed an alchemy. He turned copper and lead into gold and divided it into four, he kept the first part, gave the second one to the monk who admitted them and gave the third part to Santiago. The last part was again given to the monk’s care for he knows that Santiago would need it for sometime. As Santiago went on his way to the pyramids of Egypt he remembered the things said by the alchemist: “Where your treasure is, there will also be your heart” and so his heart told him: “Be aware of the place where you are brought to tears. That’s where I am and that’d where the treasure is”. As he reached the top of the dune, he saw the beauty of the pyramids and there he wept and thank God for the fulfillment of his Personal Legend. As he dig for his treasure several figures approached him and asked him what he was doing there, and he told them that he was digging for treasures, but the men didn’t believe him and instead took the gold in his bag and attacked him, he was left bruised and bleeding. Then the leader of the attackers approached him and told him. “Don’t be stupid, two years ago
right here on this spot, I had a recurrent that I should travel to the fields of Spain and look for a ruined church, where shepherds and their sheep slept. In my dream there was a sycamore growing in the sacristy ad I was told that if I dug the roots of the sycamore I would find a hidden treasure. But I’m not so stupid to cross the desert just because of a dream” And they left. The boy laughed and his heart was bursting with joy for he knew where his treasure was.

In addition to the stories very stunning climax of the boy’s search of his treasure, he was also able to get his real treasure where he started. His Personal Legend was not to get the hidden treasure but rather, to understand the Language and the soul of the world, to pursue his dream to travel, to meet the gypsy lady, to meet the king, to help the candy seller and the crystal merchant, to meet the camel driver, to be friends with the Englishman, to travel with the alchemist, to fell in love with Fatima and of course to know where his hidden treasure really is.

For all intents and purposes, the theme of the novel is the realization of one’s Personal Legend. It might have been conspicuous that all of the characters in the novel have their own Personal legends but many of them were not perseverant to fulfill their own legends, and rather they just did what was easy to do. Such as the baker who once wanted to travel but then thought it was hard to do, so he chose to be a baker, the crystal merchant who dreamt of going to Mecca but didn’t do it, for it takes time to do it and no one will be there to operate his crystal shop. And most especially is the leader of Santiago’s attackers in the pyramids, for he dreamt of the same thing as Santiago’s, but he never had the willpower to fulfill his dream thinking that it was stupidity. But then again, all of them conspired to help Santiago to fulfill and to put his dream into reality and to be able to realize his own Personal Legend.

In addition to that the novel’s theme is to understand the Language and the soul of the world. To understand that everything that happens around was correlated with every person’s mind and Soul. And to understand that all of the lifeless and living creatures in the universe have a single Language that connects each individual to another.

To bring this to an end, Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” was a very astounding and straightforward novel, worth reading and gives a great impact to appreciative and effective readers who are willing to take time for reading. This novel is worthy to be recommended. It is very appealing to almost everyone who reads it and leads the readers to attaining their own Personal Legends and urges almost everyone to follow their dreams and be persistent in reaching their goals.

I GIVE HER BACK

Okay... actually, this is copied from somewhere.. haha. Just try to find the original..

But you can actually read it here.. It's just the same.

Kayo na ang bahalang umintindi.. pero i really love it.





(part 1)

pagkatapos ng apat na baso ng tsokolateng lason
wala pa ring hilo na maramdaman
nilalaro ang yelo sa dila
habang nakatitig sa panlimang tagay
na nakalagay sa kanyang harapan
nag-aagaw na ang tsokolate mula sa tubig ng yelo
agad niyang hinalo ng daliri at inilapit sa kanyang mga labi


"o dahan-dahan, baka mapano ka na nyan"

"kaya pa, to talaga, wala kang tiwala"

"sus, ang saakin lang eh sana wag ganyang kabilis, magdamag pa to"

walang nagsalita

ang upos ng sigarilro mula sa itim na ashtray ay tumatapon na
punong-puno na ito
kaya tumayo ang lalaki at tinaktak ito sa malapit na basurahan

"kaya pa?"
walang imik tumango lang

"kaya mo pa ba?"
tinitigan nya ang lalaki na nagtatanong

"itutulog ko na lang"

"di dapat ganito. umayos ka nga"

"sabi mo no judgement... akala ko dyan ka lang"


walang imik ang kausap
pinikit nya ang mata nya sabay salo sa bunganga
akmang susuka na
tinabihan sya ng lalaki sabay salo sa ibubulwak nya
sisig, barbecue, calamares, kanin, alak at tubig.

walang pandidiring sinagip, tulad ng palagi nyang pag-ako ng lahat ng sakit.
kumuha ng basang twalya at ipinahid sa mukha ng kawawang lasing. nilinis
ang pinagsukahan at dahan-dahang inakay sa banyo. hinugasan ang mukha at
pinunasan ang damit. walang imik ng ilang minuto... biglang humikbi.

"iwanan mo na lang ako dito"

"pagkatapos kita maihatid sa higaan, hahayaan na kita"

"ako na lang kaya ko"

"wag mo na sana gawin to ulit, hindi na maganda"

"hayaan mo lang muna, nahihirapan na ako sa kanya"

"sabi naman sa iyo, pabayaan mo na sya... kung hindi ka nya mahal..."

"bukas ok na ako... eh di wag kung ayaw nya"

"bakit ka ba nya sinasaktan ng ganyan?"

"hindi ko din alam... basta ayoko na"

tahimik na inakay sa kawarto, tinanggal ang sapatos at isinara ang pinto.
umalis na para umuwi. pag istart ng makina ng sasakyan ay nagdalawang isip
kung tama ba ang ginawa.

kinabukasan tumunong ang cell phone ng magaalas dose na ng tanghali,
napaisip kung ano na ang nangyari sa kasama.umiilaw ang lcd at ang pangalan
"nya" ang nabasa.

"hello, ano na nangyari sayo? may hang over ka pa ba?"

"sakit na lang ng ulo, pero ok na, salamat ulit ha"

"aaaa yun... wala naman yun wag mo na lang ulitin... kaw kasi eh"

"naku... bago nga pala sneakers mo, nasukahan ko ata..."

"aaaa washable naman ata yun... o ok ka na ba talaga?"

"uhmmm ok na ok na"

"hay at least maayos ka na"

"oo kasi nagsorry sya kanina... kami na ulit"

"a ganun ba sana hindi ka na nya sasaktan ulit"

"oo nga haay, magpapakabait na daw sya... pero pag ginago nya ako ulit...
andyan ka naman eh..."

"aa... oo... dito lang"

"hahaha oo naku taga-salo ng sinuka ko"

... hindi... taga-salo ng sinuka nya


(part 2)

sa birthday party sa isang bahay sa alabang umupo ang lalaki
sa tabi ng pasilyo, binugaw ang usok na dala ng sigarilyo
mula sa mga katabi

"oy inaabangan mo nanaman sya, dude... tama na"

"pare, wag ka ngang gago. tutulad ka pa sa syota nya eh"
ang kantiaw ng mga katabi. hindi umimik.
may hawak na bote ng beer pero hindi iniinom.
torpe na nga mahina pa.

"daanin na lang natin sa inuman yan bro" sabay akbay ng may birthday

"ano ba kayo, ilang beses ba sasabihin na concern lang yun"
ang depensa sa sarili

"pare... in denial ka pa din ba? its so obvious you like her"

"dude, hindi like... baka LOVE! eh college pa yan."

"pero bro... tropa natin ang shota nya..."
bulyaw ng isa

"hahaha eh sa ganyan pare... walang tropa-tropa
sinulot din naman sa kanya di ba?"

"eh di ba nauna ka naman manligaw sa kanya?
bakit ka nga pala tumigil?"
tawa ng kaibigan

"hinde naman. ano ba kayo close lang talaga kami"
sabi ng lalaki at pilit na itinatago ang matagal na namang halata

"alala mo tong gagong to... nung baha..."
buyo ng kaibigan sabay subo ng pulutan

"oo... palaging naghihintay ng alas tres eh hanggang 1130 lang naman
pasok naten..." salo ng isa

"tapos hindi nakapagtext yung babae, hintay ng hintay si gago hanggang
alas siete... yun pala nakauwi na hahaha"
at tinapos ang kwento tawa ng tawa.

"pare sa may paranaque bahay nun di ba? haha tangina san ka nga ba
nakatira?"

"timog"
ang pabulong na sagot
lahat ng kausap ay tawa ng tawa.

bago pa man makapagreact ulit yung lalaki... biglang pumasok sa pinto
ang babae kahold hands ang boyfriend nya. tumahimik ang lahat.

"bakit ka nga ba tumigil?"
napaisip. nakatitig sa namamawis na bote ng beer.

kasalanan nya rin pala kung bakit.
naalala nya nung gabi na tinanong sya nung babae tungkol sa kanila.
mga mag-aapat na taon na mula nung gabing yun
maling-mali ang mga sagot nya.


(part 3)

binagtas nila ang kahabaan ng espanya...
traffic pa sa quiapo

pinakapaborito nya itong gawin, ang maghatid sa "kanya"
kahit hassle, kahit out of the way
hindi nya alam kung napapansin nung babae na palagi syang nakakaisip ng
dahilan
kesyo may pupuntahan sya sa BF pque or may dadaanan sa tita nya sa sucat
kahit mag dadalwang oras ang layo nito sa bahay nya ayos lang
basta makasama "sya", marinig ang boses makita nakangiti

jackpot! sobrang traffic kasi kakahupa pa lang ng baha

"alam mo paborito ko to..."

"ang alin? traffic?" tawa ng kasama

"hindi... alam mo na..."

"nahihiya ako sa iyo malayo bahay mo, ihahatid mo pa ako baka bahain ka pa"

"aaaa hindi... punta ako talaga sa gawi dyan..."

tahimik

"thank you, i dont really know what i did to deserve this"

"to naman, wala yun"
gusto ko kasi makasama ka ng matagal
marinig ka tumawa, makausap ka na tayong dalawa lang...
maihatid ka para alam ko na maayos ka nakarating ka sa inyo...

"hala traffic talaga..."
alala na dumungaw ang babae sa labas nakatingin sa mga stranded

"oo nga eh, ok lang naman mabilis na yan paglampas sa tulay"
sana masira ang stoplight para hanggang mamaya pa tayo
paborito ko ang traffic... kasi masmatagal pa tayo magkasama
kung pwede lang sana habangbuhay na lang traffic

"oy bakit ka ganyan makatingin?"

"'to feeling talaga..." nakangiti na sinabi ng lalaki
hinampas ng pabiro ang braso ng lalaki sabay dumila

"ikaw ang feeling belat"
tawa sila pareho

pagkatapos ng tatlong oras sa byahe mag-aalas onse na nung tumigil sila sa
may itim na gate
pinatay nya ang makina, at bago pa nya buksan ang pinto hinawakan ng babae
ang braso nya

"thank you, sa lahat"

"to naman, wala yun sabi sayo..."

"bakit ka ganito kabait sa akin?"

"kasi..."
at nakita nya ang matagal na nyang gusto makita sa mga mata "nya"
yung sa pagkakataong ito, alam nya na kahit paano...pareho sila ng
nararamdaman
habang tinititigan nya, para bang sasabog ang dibdib nya sa kaba
alangan na bigla nya yakapin at umamin at maging pinakamasayang tao sa
mundo

"kasi...?"
nakangiti na sya parang alam kung ano ang totoong dahilan

biglang naisip ng lalaki... ayoko syang saktan. kulang pa ako.
mali ang timing. ayoko na hindi ko mabigay ko sa kanya ang panahon
at effort na dapat para sa kanya. madami pa akong dapat tapusin at
pagminahal
nya ako, hindi ko gusto na magkukulang ako...or else i dont deserve her

"you know how much i love you, right?"
ang sinabi ng lalaki

"yeahps. i know that. thats why you take good care of me"
nakangiti ulit.

"oo nga gusto kita alagaan."
at mahalin... at buong buhay makasama

"hmmm yun lang ba?"

"oo, kasi kaibigan kita"
ang biglang nasabi ng lalaki umiwas ng tingin

"aa.. oo. tama. sige ha... uhmm pasok na ako thank you ulit"
sabay labas ng babae ng sasakyan, susi sa gate at biglang naglaho

hindi maintindihan ng babae kung bakit ganon na lang ang sikip ng dibdib
nya
na biglang tumulo ang mga mainit na luha sa pisngi nya pagkasara ng gate
narining nya na nagstart ulit ang makina alam nya na palayo na ang lalaki
halos may kuryente ang mga kamay nya at hirap pa din sya huminga
wala naman masama kung kaibigan ang turing nung lalaki sa kanya
eh pinagtataka nya ay kung bakit kaya ganun sya kaapektado?
napapikit sya, may malaking bara ang lalamunan
akala nya aamin na... kasi kung sinabi lang na mahal sya...
masasabi na din nya na ganun din ang nararamdaman nya.


(part 4)

pagkatapos ng anim na taon tatlong buwan at limang araw
dalawang boyfriend, at isang muntik na...
labing apat na beses mag-on at off
limang daan pitumpu't walong paghahatid sa itim na gate sa paranaque
na dalawang beses napinturahan ng one pint na black automotive
tatlong daan at labing isang pirasong tissue
isang pares ng sapatos na nasukahan
isang libo limapu't isang patak ng luha
isang ream ng malboro lights
isang kahang red horse,
kalahating 600ml na bote ng baileys at madaming shots ng tequila
equals

"titigilan ko na to"
bumuntong hininga, kinukumbinse ang sarili

inalala ang unang pagkikita
pumikit para mawala ang alaala ng mukha nya
hindi naman talaga sumobra sa ganda, simple lang...
simple sa unang tingin pero pagtinitigan...
lalo na pagngumiti
halos mapatid ang hininga ng lalaki
ayaw kumurap, ayaw gumalaw

tuwing magbabalak na ulit sya umamin sa babae
palagi na lang sya nauunahan ng kaba,
takot at katangahan
hanggang maunahan na ng iba

"suko na ako...hindi na ata nya ako magugustuhan"
napatingin sa sarili sa salamin

tumunog ang cellphone
"busy?"
sender +639........

parang nag bungee jump ang puso
binura na nya yung number na yan sa phone book
lumitaw ulit

"malamang nag-away sila"
isip-isip nya

"ako nanaman ang naaalala pagganitong panahon"
tinignan ang relo, mag-aalas onse ng gabi
bumaling sa susi ng sasakyan sa ibabaw ng mesa
sabay text ng

"not really, y :) "
message sent

1 new message
"wala naman, i jst need the company. kht txt lang"

huminga ng malalim, hindi nya matiis
gustuhin man nya na tumigil na
para bang nakakapanghina
masakit ang makinig sa mga problema ng babae
pero masmasakit ang makita na nagkakaganun sya

"gusto mo puntahan kita dyan?"
walang pagaalinlangan na tanong kahit malayo
kahit out of the way... kahit masakit

at nagmaneho ang lalaki ng isa't kalahating oras
hanggang marating ang itim na gate sa paranaque
kung saan sinalubong sya ng babae
magang-maga ang mata
biglang yumakap at humikbi sa dibdib
basa agad ng luha ang balikat ng tshirt nya

"sige umiyak ka lang, hindi ako aalis"
pabulong na sinabi

nag-aagaw ang loob nya kung aamin na sya sa babae
matagal na din nya hinintay ang ganitong pagkakataon
ngayon pa, na kaya na nya ibigay ang dapat sa isang katulad "nya"
ang panahon, pagiintindi... seguridad...attensyon...

"naguguluhan na ako..."
inangat ang ulo at nagkasalubong ang mga mata nila

hindi tulad noong gabi, magaapat na taon na ang nakaraan
wala na yung kislap na inaasahan na nandoon pa
napalitan ito ng gulo, sakit, para bang madaming tanong
gusto ng lalaki na bigla na lang umiyak dahil kung kailan sya handa
wala na ang katiting na pag-asa na pinanghahawakan nya

natauhan bigla nung dumating ang lalaki na dahilan ng lahat
tumayo ang babae at pumasok sa loob ng itim na gate
naiwan ang dalawang lalaki na natakatanga
alam nila pareho na isa lang sa kanila ang pwede sumunod sa babae

"hindi sa pakikialam, pero ano ba ang nangyari?"

"nandyan ka naman, bakit hindi mo tinanong sa kanya?"

"wala naman sinabi...basta na lang kailangan nya ng kasama"

"pare i think you should have asked her about it"

"wala naman sinabi umiyak lang"

"i just cant believe you are this blind"

"kung ano ang away nyo, labas ako..."

"dyan ka mali"

"sige, kung mamasamain mo ang pagtulong ko sa kanya twing nagkakasakitan
kayo..."

"yun nga yon. ikaw ang kinakailangan nya, hindi ako.
imbis na ayusin namin ang problema
palagi na lang ikaw ang pumupunta..."

"i am just being a friend to her"

"thats bullshit and you know it. pare, you are still very much in love with her"

"i dont think its any of your business, hindi naman nya ako mahal"

"bakit? naitanong mo na ba yan sa kanya?"

"hindi na kailangan."

"do you even know that you love her?"

"...."

"ganito na lang, are you even aware that she loves you?"


"...."

"well... para hindi na kayo mahirapang dalawa, eto manggagaling na sa akin...
mahal ka nya and she has been in love with you ever since i can remember"

"bakit mo sinasabi sa akin yan?"

"kasi nasasawa na ako ng ganito. do both of yourselves a favor and talk about
it,
sinubukan ko na ayusin kami at pagod na pagod na ako..."

"... ... ..."

"pareho kayo in denial"

"pare,ayoko sya makita nasasaktan"

"bakit? sa tingin mo ba gusto ko din masaktan sya?
hindi naman sya masaya sa akin and i see that everyday"

"you dont know what youre talking about"

"why? ikaw? do you?"
akmang wawalk-out ang bida naten...pero may parang pumigil sa kanya
ang lalaki na dahilan ng pag-iyak ng babae
ay hindi pala ang taong totoong nakasakit sa kanya

natauhan, naliwanagan
nag-alinlangan...naindintihan

"i give her back to you. ingatan mo sya"
ang sabi ng dating kalaban

at pumasok ang bida sa loob ng itim na gate sa paranaque.

AN ANGEL'S DAY

You're the greatest present for today.

Whew.. Wala lang.. Super naging sarcastic ung araw na to.. however naging masaya rin naman.. A lot of things happened.. or siguro konti lang..

Sinamahan ko magsimba si bestfriend. hehe.. 18 na sya.. yihee. ayun, naging good ung morning namin pareho, and everything was fine.. i went to school after the mass and ayun, ok naman ung araw.

Paguwi.. That was the "Marathon" haha!
Wala pa kasi akong gift sa kanya.. 6:30 na, nasa jeep parin ako.. oh gosh!

Pagbaba ko ng jeep.. takbo ako agad sa tindahan ng stuffies haha! bumili ako ng turtle (gusto daw niya ng pagong, pero ayaw nya magalaga. edi ayan! instant pagong) then.. for a moment i thought.. anung gagawin ko next?

Derecho ako sa 168 mall, humahanap ako ng watch and accidentally, nakita ko ung matagal na niyang pinapantasyang bag.. hehe. binili ko narin (isa un sa mga nalumang kahilingan niya) then.. derecho ako ng tutuban centermall.. bumili ako ng watch.. (matagal ko nang gustong palitan ung watch nya ng bago tulad ng request nya.. wala lang akong tym)... after that.. takbo ako pabalik ng ilaya.. (inuna ko ung tutuban kasi magsasara yun ng seven) so.. bumili ako ng jacket, haha.. as requested, stripes sana kaso wala akong mahanap.. nakarating nako sa kanto ng ilaya wala parin. kaloka. so i bought a checkered one instead. ok naman maganda rin. Then.. balik ako sa tutuban night market naman ang sumalubong! haha.. humahanap ako ng tshirt (actually may request xa na shirt.. kaso sa rob pa un.. layo! haha.. alternative muna ulit) yun, i saw 2 nice shirts, muka namang babagay sa kanya so bumili ako ng dalawa.. then.. gusto ko sana magpunta sa a.rivera, kaso anlayo at 100 nalang nasa bulsa ko... bibili ko sana ung gusto niyang jersey.. kaso wala na talaga.. so bumili nalang ako ng paper bag. haha. lalagyan ng lahat.

Then pumunta na ko sa kanila..

And the rest?.....
This is not the right place for that one.. haaaay.

The day is almost over.
Happy birthday my angel.

*hug*

ANOTHER NIGHT WITH KIM and GERALD

COPY lang to ng BTS ko sa KIMERALD WORLD...
so sa mga hindi makaintindi.. pki intindi nalang! haha

Nanunuod ako ngaun ng MOH..

Pa-BTS ulit..
Woo! Last November 7, 2008 sa Tapat ng Aranet Colliseum..
Sinindihan ung Giant Christmas Tree (amazing) ang gnda promise!
And for those who were there... I know nagandahan rin kayo! haha..

Oh eto na..
The ASAP '08 cast were there.. sila ung bumuhay ng event. haha!
Actually it started 5pm..
at as usual, tulad ng Victory Party Late kami ni Glenn! haha
Salamat nalang kay Ate Mae na walang sawa sa kakareply sa kakulitan namin at naubusan pa ng load.!

Okay. here it goes,
Pagdating namin ni Glenn sa Event, andun na lahat.. as in lahat. Ng tao, ng artista, ng KW Execs, haha!
Asteg! (Sir joey, Tita Mimi, huhu.. sayang wala kau) Sige.. Eto pa. haha

Pagdating namin, SUPER GULO na and SUPER SIKIP.
Mejo naging hassle para samin ang lahat kasi nagkasisihan pa kmi ni glenn kung bakit late kami!
Korni dba? haha..

Soooo... Pagdating dun, kumakanta ang bloom fields (as usual, d namin sila makita) Umikot kami sa May
Padi's Point, tpos nakita namin ung entrance sa Event.. pero di parin namin nakikita lahat (all those time,
ndi kami naguusap ni Glenn dahil sa tapuhan) ang hirap talaga!

Then biglang sabi "Painitin natin ang Dance Floor, Narito na ang hinihintay ng lahat ng babae.. DYNAMITE
DANCE CREW" (SIGAWAN) okay.. andun kami, sa likong ng maraming Higanteng mama na malaki katawan at
umuulan pa. Pagkarinig ko sa pangalan ni kuya ge, with the thought na sumasayaw siya... Umiyak na lang
ako :( aww... so sad. Naghagis pa man din ng napakabangong polo si kuya ge at muntikan nang masalo ni
ate peach (ate peach, kaw na bahala mag BTS ng part na yan ha! wala ako mkita eh, daming manster sa
harapan ko nun.. haha) Tpos nun, lumayo na kami, pagpunta ko sa malayo, tinawag ako ni Glenn "May
daan dito"... so pumunta kami to notice everything. Andaming tao na nakatayo sa Chairs all we have to do
is pass "Excuse me po" Line ata yan for the day... tapos nung nasa may harapan n kami, may nabakanteng
upuan.. Tumayo ako, sabay sabi "Eto na ang Pinakamainit na Love team ngayon!!! aT napakaraming
nagaabang... LEt's all welcome Kim and Gerald" (tili lahat ng bonggang bongga!) Okay.. so, WAla parin akong
makita.. and syempre si glenn rin na hindi nakatayo sa chair. Buti bumaba ng stage ung dalawa, mejo
natanaw namin sila, both wearing red singing "Sabihin mo na".

Okay.. after that.. wala na. sabog na kami. atleast nasilayan namin sila at khit papano d sayang ang pagod..

Pero mag BbTS Ba ko para sa walang kwentang kwentong yan? haha... D pa jan natatapos ang lahat!!! ETO
NA!!!

Nag text si ate mae (syempre naubos ko na load niya, nakitext na siya kay ate peach) Punta kayo dito sa may
tapat ng Van ng TV patrol, andito kami, so pumunta kami, dinatnan namin si Tita Mindz, Ate Peaches, and
Ate Mae.. Yei! Reunited, (at busangot parin kami ni Glenn dahil masama pa loob) haha... Asteg dba? Soo..
Mejo namomroblema na kung panu makikita sina April at Keeno. Edi kitikitext nanaman ang Lahat, Text kay
Tita Donz at Kay Ate Virgie... (few minutes) Sabi ni ate peaches "Ui lalabas daw si Virgie, papasok niya tayo sa
loob" Wo00oo!!! Dun lang ata kami ulit nagusap ni Glenn. haha! Nagsmile narin ang lahat, so Paglabas ni Ate
Virgie, kasama ang kanyang "ALL ACCESS PASS SA ARANETA EVENT NA IYON" (yeah, we're proud sa isa
nating kapamila dito sa bahay natin.. oha! haha! kabog!) edi pinasok niya na sina ate peach and ate mae,
naiwan kami nina tita mindz and si Glenn.. tpos ndi parin kami pinabayaan ni ate Virgie, Binalikan niya
kami at pinasok kami sa Bonggang bonggang WHITE AIRCONDITIONED TENT ng ABS CBN. haha. Na punong
puno ng mga bonngang abs cbn stars... (Na syempre di namin napansin kahit nakakalat lang sila dun)
haha... Kim and GE got our attention. Nakaupo sila sa opposite seat na inuupuan namin. katabi nila sina
Melissa and Matt and OTHERS. haha! Whoever they are we don't care! haha ^_^ basta andun sila KIM at GE, at
dahil para kaming mga bata na masunurin sa sinabi ni ate virgie na "Ui, dito lang kayo ah, wag na kayo
lumabas para kasama niyo lang yang dalawa, okay lang yan, pupunta muna ko sa labas may dapat ako
asikasuhin eh" OKAY! haha.. ndi nga kam umalis sa kinatatayuan. pero we took some pics of kim and ge..
Tpos nagkasalubong kami ng tingin ni Kimmy, KUMAWAY SIYA NG SUPER KAWAY SAKIN, hehe.. tinuro ko
pa si glenn na nasa Likod ko AT MEGA KAWAY PA ULIT C KIMMY KASAMA NG SUPER BIG SMILE NIYA NA
PARANG SINASABI "UUUYYYY HI! ANDITO PALA KAYO!!" haha... wala lang ang saya kasi ng smile niya..
habang si kuya GE nakikipagdaldalan kay matt, kinalabit siya ni kimmy and tinuro kami, nag NOD naman
siya na busy parin kakadaldal. haha... NApakalakas ng boses ni kuya GE na bibong bibo sa pagkkwento ng
kung ano kay Matt. ^_^ nakakatawa lang kasi may *apir* moments pa sila sabay halakhak ng malakas.
parang 1st time lang nagkita, haha... okay enough na.

Paglingon ko, dumaan si crush sam concepcion ko, edi nagpanic ako kasi tumayo siya sa harap ko. haha! d
ko alam pano magrereact, sbi ni glenn "papicture ka na dali, wag na mahiya" edi lumapit ako.. tpos ang Laki
ng Smile niya,, haha! nag smile ako, nag nod siya, so lumapit na ko...and CLICK! haha.. biglang Dumating si
Tita Donns and biglang tayo ung dalawa. ^_^ Sweeeet! So bigla kong nilayasan si Sam at nagpasalamat na
lang ako, haha. Lumapit sila KIM and GE kay Tita Donns and Lumapit narin kami nina Tita Mindz, Ate Mae at
Ate Peach (I can't remember kung nandun rin si Ate virgie) tpos un, kwento kwento about sa pagkabigla ng
lahat sa ilalabas na teaser ng bagong teleserye nung dalawa.. haha.. gulat sila ang aga daw?! wooo0o0o! EH
KASI DUE TO INSISTENT PUBLIC DEMAND EH! haha.. ^_^ tpos pagtingin ko kay kuya GE sakto napatingin din
siya., sabi niya "UYY!!! HELLO!?" hehe.. Tpos sbi din ni KIM "HELLO!! HEHE" May kaway ulit. ^_^ package na
ata un. haha.. nkakatouch sila dba!? yey. Tpos ayun, kwento kwento ulit for a while. haha. tpos bigla silang
pinalabas pra sa Final Presentation ng Event ung 4U nga.. wid mat and mel..

Lumabas na rin kami and habang nag cclosing sila.. FIRE WORKSSS.......!!! ANG GNDA TALAGA!!!

Waaah!
Tpos yun, tapos na ung event and nagdaanan lahat ng ASAP stars sa harap namin dahil pabalik na sila sa
Tent, haha.. Pagdaan samin ni kuya GE sumigaw siya ng "UY! BABAY!" I'm not sure kung narining ng
marami na Busy sa Fire works. haha! May Video kami na nakuha ni gLEnn Backstage, pero mejo magulo,
we'll try to upload it and share. hehe.. onti lang pictures, wala kasi kaming dalang Camera eh.. pero masaya
naman laht ^_^

May Picture din pala kami ni John LLoyd.. hinila lang niya ko. ayoko talaga! haha ^_^

SA UULITIN!!!
TIRA TIRA TALAGA!!

Di uso sumusuko..
^_^

"PSEUDO-RELATIONSHIP: in or out?"

PSEUDO-RELATIONSHIP...

Friendly Kisses, Holding hands, Tight Hugs...

Almost like a relationship, but not quite.
It is a phase where the persons involved
are more than friends, but not quite
lovers.

Pwedeng may verbal agreement,
pwedeng wala.One or both of you may
have dmitted your feelings,possible rin na
hindi.

You just let your gestures do the talking
for you.Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.

Hindi kayo.
Pero sa kilos niyo,
sa mga sinasabi niyo,
parang kayo,
pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at
different stages for different reasons.

It can happen after a break-up.
You still love each other,
and you want to be with each other
but you broke up for a reason.
And for reasons that you alone know,
ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship,
iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.
Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-
seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang
muna.

Testing lang. (tama ba un?!)

Pwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo
kasi isa sa inyo may ka-relasyon na.

Kaya habang hindi pa siya
nakikipag-break doon sa boy/girl
(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon
pero di naman niya ginagawa),
wala muna kayong relasyon
para nga naman hindi siya
nangangaliwa
kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage,
for a time, can be fun.

Lalo na kung naghahanap
ka lang naman ng "KALARO."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect
na may patutunguhan kayo kasi
wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle
sa ganitong set up ganoong
hindi naman sigurado
kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan.

Puwedeng for fun lang.

Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or
puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."

Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real
thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious
relationship,
they would think that pseudo-relationship
is better than no relationship at all.

It would be fun, if all you're after
is that "kilig" feeling.

But then I learned that although it was
only a pseudo-relationship,
THE EMOTIONS WERE REAL.

And usually, in this kind of set up,
merong malulugi..

"Ung NAINLOVE SA TAONG
MAY MAHAL RING IBA,
MAY MAHAL NANG IBA
AT MAY MAHAL PANG IBA."

Gets?

UNA, you can't ask him/her to commit.

Since it's not really a relationship,
you can't demand commitment from your
partner.

Ano ba kayo?

You will always be uncertain
about your role in his/her life.

You can't expect him/her
to be always there with you.

And if you feel jealous of the other
boys/girls,
you just have to keep it to yourself.

Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

PANGALAWA, what if
you fall deeply in love with her/him?

You can't be sure if she/he feels the same
way.

Baka nag-a-assume ka lang
na mahal ka rin niya.

Even if you are dying
to tell her you love him/her,
you can't.

Because you're not sure
if he/she will like it.

Baka mapahiya ka lang.

This stage will always make you wonder
WHERE YOU ARE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP
or
IS THERE A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL?

PANGATLO, what if you become attached
too much?

What if you have invested
all your emotions and this boy/girl hasn't?

What if you remain faithful to her,
not entertaining other guys/gals,
only to find out that she is seeing
other girls/boys?

Isa pang DOWNSIDE ng pseudo-
relationships,it is fleeting.

When a disagreement sets in,
or when one of you gets cold,
then that would be the end of it.

Unlike in a serious relationship,
hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar
sa isang pseudo-relationship.

Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo- relationship,

ang meron lang "siya at ako"

walang "KAMI".

"WHEN DO YOU CONSIDER SOMETHING CONSTANT?"

This is a short conversation.. With whom? I dunno... I will only share the thing's I've said..

"Alam mo naman kung gaano ka kahalaga sakin diba? walang kasing.. at ayokong basta basta nalang matapos lahat sa ganun na lang..Ngayon lang ako ulit nakahanap ng ganitong lugar sa mundong to. Ung masaya ako. Ung alam kong kahit nasasaktan ako, kapag nakita na kiota, nakasama na kita, kampante na ko. Kahit alam kong hndi tayo pwedeng maging higit sa magkaibigan, tinatanggap ko na, at unti unti ko ng bnibitawan ung pangarap ko na isang araw makikita ko ung sarili ko na katabi ka. Habang buhay. Ngayon lang ulit may nag alaga sakin ng ganito, ngayon ko lang ulit naranasang magalaga ng sobra. Na magkaroon ng kaibgang katulad mo, na nabigyan ko ulit ng halaga lahat ng bagay sa mundo ko, natutunan ko ulit mahalin ang sarili ko. Ayoko mawala lahat dahil sa isang walang kakwenta kwentang bagay. Gusto ko nang maging maayos lahat. Maging masaya, makuntento, tahimik na tumayo sa tabi mo para saluhin ka sa tuwing madadapa ka. Un lang. Un lang ang gusto ko. WAla nang iba. Kaya ako ganito, sana maintindihan mo"

+ I feel and i sound so awful in that first part..It's like I'm someone who's losing everything... Weird.

"Alam ko namang lahat ng bagay na gawin ko, kung hindi kulang, paniguradong mali, para sayo. Kaya nga tinatanggap ko nalang lahat ng sinasabi mo, lahat ng sinasabi ng iba, ayoko na rin kasi ng gulo"

+ Medyo naging magulo ung mundo ko these past few days.. A witch is haunting me. She won't stop until I'm gone... Ayoko nalang lumaban dahil alamko wala akong panalo. Yung nagiisang possible na maging kakampi ko (dahil siya lang ang may alam ng lahat) wala.. WALANG ibang maLi para sa kanya kundi ako. Kasalanan ko daw lahat. OKAY! watever. haha... I hate it.

"Wala na kong inaasahan sa mundong to. Basta alam ko isang araw magiging masaya rin ako. DI man sa paraang gusto ko, pero gagawa ng paraan si God para makita niya kong masaya.Isang araw, Lahat ng tao sa mundo mamamatay, lahat ng sarap at hirap , maiiwanan din sa mundong to, ndi madadal sa kabilang buhay. Kaya hanggat kaya kong masaktan, hndi ako titigil. Hanggat kaya kong sumaya, tatawa ako hanggang mawalan ako ng hininga. Lahat ng bagay matatapos. saya, sakit, tawanan, iyakan, galit, pagpapatawad. Lahat. At hanggat kaya kong lampasan lahat, susugod ako. Manalo man o matalo, mdapa man o masugatan, alam ko ginawa ko parin lahat. For my life to be worth living. Dahil isang araw lahat un mawawala, ultimo alaala ng lahat, Maglalaho at wala ng babalik."

+Whew.. life's reality. nakakapagod tanggapin but, we have to. MAraming bagay na dapat tanggapin kahit mahirap. Sabi nga nila, there are THREE things constant in this world. GOD's LOVE, CHANGE and DEATH... and the rest?... It's up to you. It depends on how you will take care of that something you have, to make it permanent.. and CONSTANT.

Mahirap diba?.. Madali sigurong isipin pero mahirap tanggapin. Lalo kapag malapit na malapit ka na talaga, tipong nandyan na sa harapan mo, pero hindi pwedeng maging iyo. And once something is not yours. You can never make it constant. Hindi nga iyo eh.. asa ka pang maging permanente yan!

"Live life to the fullest, but remember your limitations."

"HAVE IT MY WAY"

INFINITE SPIRIT OF DISGUISE

The face of my real agony
lies behind the eyes of those who seek
Scattered beneath the cries of those who weep
My sadness is forsaken
Left unseen, unspoken, untrue, unknown...
My sorrow is hidden in the depths of my cheers
The reasons for my tears are so-called inocent
The one's responsible for my weary heart
are not aware that they're killing me
But despite all of these, my laughter and smile
Covers my tears, hides my fears...
Will this be the reason for me to be hated?
I'm worthy of someone's respect...
I'm worthy of someone's love..
No one could see this
Because they're not seeking for the truth,
They're just contented
With my infinite spirit of disguise..


MISS SELF DESTRUCT

I am the voice inside your head
I am the hate you try to hide
I am denial guilt and fear
I am the prayers of the naive
I am the lie that you believe
I am the needle in your vein
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the pusher I'm a whore
I am the need in you for more
I am the bullet in the gun
I am the truth from which you run
I am the silencing machine
I am the end of all your dreams
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
I’m Ms. Self Destruct


THE PERSON IN ME

There’s something in me
I wasn’t able to see...
I tried to look for
But I lost myself more...
Someone let me find
What is real and unkind...
But it made me more insecure
Of my feelings that were unsure...
But there came a time
When I found my rhyme...
And I was able to see
This hidden person in me...

"BETTER LATE THAN NEVER"

Sabi nga nila... better late than never, and kailangan ko magdusa dahil nawalan kami ng internet conection for 2 days... anyways.. Shhooot!!! haha





November 2, Sunday
ENOUGH NA?

Ngayon lang ako magkkwento, anyways.. super bitin tong araw na to for both me and Glenn.. we're supposed to meet kim and ge again, kaso ndi natuloy dahil sa pagiging strict ng regal. Anyways, naging okay naman ung araw despite of the trouble. We watched talented dogs at SM Manila, hihihi.. ^_^ They're so cute! They dance, count, solve math problems, read, jump around, play dead, run and all.. haha! they're so cute and so nice. Nagenjoy naman kami kahit ganun lang ung power trip namin! haha

For the night.. nagkaroon ng mejo serious talk between me and my best friend.. Mejo masakit pero as expected.. gnbun pa rin. haha. Nagising lang ako ulit sa dream world ko, sa mundong inaakala kong akin, ndi naman pla... So bad.


November 3, Monday

FIRST DAY OF CLASS!!! Yeah..
Okay, ang corni! haha..

Siguro I can call this day a nickname... hmm.. "Disaster"

Ang weird, parang inaasar ako ng araw..
Bago ako pumunta sa PLM, Of course my mom gave me my day's allowance, 200.00 na bill and 7.oo na coins pamasahe ko raw, okay as I went out of our house, ayun.. bumagsak ung napakalakas na ulan! whew, fortunately may dala akong payong kaso wala akong jacket. So.. I walked, sumakay ako ng jeep at sa kanto at nagbayad and pagdating sa Doroteo jose, PoOoOfff... FLAT! asaaarrr.. So i have to transfer to another jeepney.. "Mabini" sabi sa card na nakasabit sa wind shield niya.. So sumakay ako sabay sabi ni manong "hanggang city hall lang ako"... meaning, bababa ako ulit! OKAY!!! (Malakas na malakas ang ulan) Lumipat ako ng bagong jeepney at nagbayad ng 200.00 bill (dahil naipambayad ko na ang coins ko) sabi ko "Manong, round table lang ho, estudyante" Sumigaw si Manong Sunget "OH?! ANO TO?! BARYA NGA! DI KO KILALA YANG PERA MO!" Sabi ko "Wala ho akong barya" Sigaw ulit sya "EH WALA AKONG SUSUKLI SAYO!!!" woah!!! Okay.. sorry Lang ah?! So bumaba nanaman ako at lumipat ng ibang jeep, Thank the Lord.. nakarating ako sa PLM! haaay...

Klase na... 1pm - 4pm 2 subjects.. WALANG PROF!!! wo0o0o0! Cool.. Sayang pasok ko ah!

And a lot more things happened that day, na hindi ko na siguro dapat kuwento dito... Basta MASAKIT!!!! PROMISE!!!

ALL SAINTS DAY

Today is November 1, 2008 and we're celebrating all saint's day..

Here's something about it:

The festival of All Saints, also sometimes known as All Saints' Day, All Hallows or Hallowmas ("hallows" meaning "saints," and "mas" meaning "Mass"), is a feast celebrated November 1 in honour of all the saints, known and unknown. Halloween is the day preceding it, and is so named because it is "The Eve of All Hallows". All Saints is also a Christian formula invoking all the faithful saints and martyrs, known or unknown.
In the Roman Catholic Church, All Saints' Day honours those who have attained the beatific vision in heaven, while the next day, All Souls' Day, commemorates the departed faithful who have not yet been purified and reached heaven.
HistoryIn the early Church, Christians would celebrate the anniversary of a martyr's death for Christ (known as the saint's "birth day") by serving an All-Night Vigil, and then celebrating the Eucharist over their tomb or place of martyrdom. In the fourth century, neighbouring dioceses began to transfer relics, and to celebrate the feast days of specific martyrs in common. Frequently, a number of Christians would suffer martyrdom on the same day, which naturally led to a joint commemoration. In the persecution of Diocletian the number of martyrs became so great that a separate day could not be assigned to each. But the Church, feeling that every martyr should be venerated, appointed a common day for all.
A commemoration of "All Martyrs" began to be celebrated as early as the year 270, although no specific month or date are mentioned in existing records The first trace of a general celebration on a specific day is attested in Antioch on the Sunday after Pentecost.There is mention of a common day in a sermon of St. Ephrem the Syrian (373), and the custom is also referred to in the 74th Homily of St. John Chrysostom (†407), who speaks of a "feast of martyrs of the whole world."As early as 411, there is found among the Chaldean Christians a general commemoration of all Confessors (Commemoratio Confessorum), celebrated on the Friday after Easter.


And here are some traditional customs in different countries:

In Portugal, Spain and Mexico, ofrendas (offerings) are made on this day. In Spain, the play Don Juan Tenorio is traditionally performed. In Spain, Portugal, Italy and France, people bring flowers to the graves of dead relatives.
In Poland, Slovenia, Slovakia, Lithuania, Croatia, Austria and Germany, the tradition is to light candles and visit the graves of deceased relatives.
In the Philippines, the day is spent visiting the graves of deceased relatives, where they offer prayers, lay flowers, and light candles, often in a picnic-like atmosphere.
In English speaking countries, the festival is traditionally celebrated with the hymn "For All the Saints" by William Walsham How. The most familiar tune for this hymn is Sine Nomine by Ralph Vaughan Williams.

(source: answers.com)

+We have to pray for the Martyrs who sacrificesd thier lives to honor the Lord our God.. May they always guide us and find peace.

"KASAMA KANG TUMANDA"

"Kung may nagiisang tao sa mundo na kayang gawin ang lahat para lang maging masaya sya.. AKO YUN"

My day started with my most awaited enrollment! haha.. we're the last college to enroll... nice one! wala na kaming PE.. however napakadali namang natapos ng enrollment na un compared to other colleges.

Unfortunately, 5:30 pm lang ang latest dismissal ko, sayang walang night shift. haha. pero sa mass comm, di uso maaga umuuwi! haha TEAMWORK!!!

Today is one of my best days ever.. haha! siguro everyday with a special someone will be part of the best ones.. Nanuod kami kanina ng "My Only U" the latest movie of Vhong and Tony.. Funny! Super Funny.. Mejo mahal lang ang tickets P 150.00 haha! reklamadora ako?! anyways, nagenjoy naman kami ng sobra, cinema 11, seats number 11 and 12... haha! wala lang!

"Hala? A-onse na ba ngayon?"
"oO"
"Edi A-dose na bukas?"
"Hindi a-onse ulit!!! bobo ka talaga!"

WoOoO.. That one rocks. haha!
(who wants spoilers? tara.. kkwento ko! haha)
And after the heavy laugh trip.. we watched "If Only" (Samantha and Ian remember?) a heavy drama.. ^_^ nice one?! After tumawa.. iyak naman ako! weird.
It's a wonderful day..
Wala nang hahanapin pa! ^_^

+Thanks to Glenn+